I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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