it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
