Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
