i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
