Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just found puke in my bra..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
