so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
