her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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