We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
3 2 1 whiskey
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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