Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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