if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
this hospital has no fireball
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
