You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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