help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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