what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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