Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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