nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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