Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
