I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she told me i tasted like america
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
