Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
