i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
