Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
