Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
