we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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