Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
