You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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