his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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