I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
