Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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