I need help removing her.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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