I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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