i already hear my dad disowning me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
