Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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