You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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