6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There r osticjed everywhere
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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