I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
