Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize