Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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