Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
