Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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