from now on my penis is your penis
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
