Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
