fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
