I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
