What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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