My first STD was from a foam party
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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