is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
