she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
