We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
