I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
