I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize