On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
