I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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