Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
