i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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