so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
