i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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