I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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