I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Randomize
