I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
