on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
