Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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