just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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