I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize