So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
