you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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