i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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